Jen A. / Sobriety Diner
Time magazine published an article on the "Four Types of Drunk Personalities" called, appropriately, Here Are the Four Types of Drunks, According to Science (July, 2015).
I remember reading it briefly and paying not much attention to it other than some mild amusement. Months later, I was listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast Episode 36: Which One Are You? in which (the host) Paul talks about where he fits in the article.
And I started to think: Which type of drunk am I?
- Ernest Hemingway: The always on drinkers with no personality change; can drink all night without appearing drunk. {Is it worth noting that he's the only non-fictional person used as reference?—Chris}
- Mary Poppins: Oh, we hate this bitch. (She says with a snicker.) This is the male or female imbiber that can drink and be happy and perfect and smiley and giggly and everyone’s best friend. {Did Mary ever drink anything other than tea?—Chris}
- Nutty Professor: This person is the introvert who uses alcohol as a lubricant to socialize
- Mr. Hyde: And then this dude, “…particularly less responsible, less intellectual, and more hostile when under the influence of alcohol.”
I am definitely NOT Ernie or Mary. They are anomalies. I don’t even know them. Who are these people? Also, the picture of Ernest Hemingway is a bit askew considering he wasn’t just a well-structured drinker whose personality didn’t change, his personality according to his relations really sucked. He was violent, abusive, egomaniacal and selfish. It is historical fact but from plain analysis of this article, he could drink and drink and drink and not fall down. So maybe his attitude/personality was all-the-time sucky. Mary on the other hand, I don’t think she exists in the alcoholic space so from a “normie” point of view we all know those people. Taking the article again from face value that we are looking at drunk people in their “moment” then we all know a Mary. I know a Mary and this woman just smiles and smiles and is really annoying. It is the type of woman that doesn’t get out much and when they do they can handle their alcohol and just get increasingly blah blah blah. I would just like to street fight them. Open up the octagon.
So now that I have attacked a few drunk types (I can do that, right?)…
I can identify with the Nutty Professor and Mr. Hyde. And they shifted over time. I started drinking as a Nutty Professor but turned into Mr. Hyde real fast. Even in my early drinking days, every drunk turned into something that erased all intelligent thinking and I would be more irresponsible and definitely hostile. This is how a typical “going out” might look like and from a specific remembrance:
- Nutty Professor (me) gets the night rolling at home with a glass or two to loosen up.
- Typically followed by dinner and drinks (the Nutty Professor and Mary are now being channeled through my personality shifts) I am happy, engaging and as soon as dinner is over; what’s next. I have no time to sit and sip coffee, it is game on.
- Bars, bars, bars. Mr. Hyde appears. Mood shifts to MOODY. Drunk, slurry type of person. I might disappear on you and take the wrong subway home the wrong way (irresponsible) or drive home (irresponsible) and god dammit if you try and stop me. (hostile)
This was my typical pattern. You can pretty much insert any phase or time in my life and I can track it down. That violent shift from Nutty to Hyde actually became more 99% Hyde, forget about Nutty toward the end. At that point I was more of the “Fuck the social anxiety and when do I start drinking?" to just get done.
An anecdote
There is a type of wine called Jekyll.
My husband took a bottle of it and added a sticker tape that said & Hyde. He put it on top of our kitchen cabinets as a reminder of what I am like when I drink. I have since asked him to remove it because it started to make me very sad. However, I have not forgotten.
This post was first published in a (slightly) different format with a different title @ Sobriety Diner
About the Author
Jen A.
Jen is an alcoholic in recovery. After navigating 25 years of heavy alcohol use and realizing that living life on life's terms would be much better, Sobriety Diner was formed. Jen leans on many tools in addition to her blog including online group support, 12-step program, practicing gratitude and surrounding herself with positive energy. In addition to recovery, Jen's other life includes a career, a son and a husband; not to mention many hours logged on a bicycle.