Cameron / @RecoveryCameron
I can’t believe I am writing this letter right now. My heart aches, my hands are shaking, tears are making puddles on my keyboard. I’m fighting a war in my mind between the good times and the bad times, and I just don’t know who’s winning anymore.
Do you remember all the amazing times we’ve had? You were always there to keep me calm, to help me deal with everyday stress, and make me feel better all around. You give me a warm, fuzzy feeling that is indescribable. Your taste lingers on my dry lips; your cold touch cools my always-clammy palms.
How do you keep me always wanting more and never having enough? You tempt and tease me, and I so stupidly fall for your tricks every time. You promise me it’ll be different this time, we won’t make the same mistakes as last time. We try and try again to make this work, and I just don’t know how much more I can take.
What you did to me last night was the worst yet, though. You teased harder than ever, you promised nothing bad would happen. I was stupid enough to trust and believe you, and what a mistake that was.
Because of you I acted in ways I told myself I never would again. Because of you I put things that are important to me in jeopardy. It’s all your fault. It’s your fault I ended up in the hospital then had to spend the weekend in jail. I lost my job, and caused my girlfriend to loose hers. How could you do this to me?
You’ve broken me down more than I ever thought possible. I’m so weak and tired; I’m broken physically and mentally. This has to stop now. It’s time for us to end this…whatever this is. I can’t keep going on like this; you’ve ruined my life.
I never want to spend time with you again. I never want to taste you on my lips or feel you in my palms.
This is what I need to do and nothing you do, no matter how much you tease and tempt, will bring me back.
We are over, done, fin.
Goodbye Forever Alcohol,
About the Author
Cameron has been in recovery since July 2014. After graduating from Oregon State University in 2012, he was faced with the realities of his drinking. Through his personal recovery, he gained an interest in addiction and advocacy to break the stigma. He now lives with his fiancée in Phoenix, AZ where he continues to learn and connect with other addicts. Follow Cameron on Twitter @RecoveryCameron.