Adeline Geller / The (Secret) Diary of a Love Addict
I cried all day today. I barely got out of bed to eat.
This is not right. Yes I’m emotional and yes it was triggering but…
I just googled “love addiction meeting” in the hopes of finding one online.
And to my total shock, there is a weekly Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) meeting here. On this Island. Half an hour away.
The next one is tomorrow.
The website says, “You are not alone.”
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition-oriented fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. The only qualification for S.L.A.A. membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. From S.L.A.A.’s eight core documents, see the 40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis. S.L.A.A. is supported entirely through the contributions of its membership and is free to all who need it.
I have done the 40 questions for self-diagnosis. I did them 3 months ago. I answered yes to 36 of them.
In a state of out-of-body disbelief, I called the number.
A woman answered. I asked if the meeting was still on tomorrow.
“Which meeting?” she asked, and I whispered, “The…um…SLAA one? It’s my first time.”
And she said yes, very much so, she just had other actual work meetings and didn’t want to start spouting on about 12 steps. And we both laughed, and I said yeah, I wouldn’t either and, by that point, for some reason I was almost crying, like a part of my heart just opened up.
And she said, “Is this your first meeting ever, or just your first one on The Island?”
And I said, “First one ever.”
And she said, “Well, I’ll be there. And we’re a good crew, and we’ll take care of you.”
By which point I actually had to choke back tears to thank her and tell her I’d see her there.
Adeline is a writer, entrepreneur, meditator, volunteer and enthusiastic digital nomad. She’s written for international publications and television networks. She believes in the power of community, compassion and carbohydrates.
Adeline Geller is a pseudonym.